


Bella's Adventure

by Analitac



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bella's a vindictive one, F/M, Romance, Slow Burn, They better all watch out for her, Watch out for her, always fem!bilbo, anyway, i hope this is good, she's a spitfire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:34:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22153336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Analitac/pseuds/Analitac
Summary: A retelling of the Hobbit with a fierce Bella Baggins as the lead and a repentant Gandalf and Company living in a reverent fear of Bella.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, bagginshield - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 117





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> (Fair warning: I'll probably change the title if I think of a better one.) So, I wrote this awhile ago and only just now got around to posting it. Please be kind? Also, I could really use some encouragement. I'm struggling with one of the later chapters.

Belladonna Baggins was upset. Strike that. ‘Upset’ was too mild of a term. Belladonna Baggins was pissed. Let me tell you why.

It all started earlier that day, when Belladonna was enjoying the morning sunshine in her front garden and a wizard decided to ‘drop by.’ Bella, for Bella really did prefer ‘Bella’ over her full name of Belladonna, had just closed her eyes for a minute to bask in the warmth of the sun when she felt the warmth inexplicably disappear.

“Oi! That better not be you Bungo!” Bella sat up immediately opening her eyes to take the fool who had the audacity to block her sunshine to task. However, it was not her cousin, Bungo, or any hobbit for that matter. It was a tall figure, dressed in grey robes, a grey, pointed hat, and leaning on a long staff made of a gnarled but remarkably straight branch.

“Oh, my dear, I assure you, I not your cousin, Bungo. I believe I might be just a bit taller than him, if you will forgive the jest about a hobbit’s height.” The figure looked down at Bella with the sun at his back, so it was difficult, nay impossible, for her to get a close look at his face.

“My apologies! I am unused to strangers in these parts. May I inquire as to your business near my hobbit hole?” Bella backpedaled, trying to make up for her unintentional insult to the strange man.

“Stranger! I would have liked to have thought you hobbits would have a better memory! I am Gandalf! Gandalf the Grey!” The str – Gandalf seemed on the surface offended, but there was an undercurrent of mirth in his eyes that belied the offense. 

“I am sorry. I remember you now! You were the one who made such wonderful fireworks are Old Took’s summer parties! We have not seen you in these parts for some time. I fear it is your own fault no one might remember you.” Bella could not help but give the old wizard a bit of his own cheek back to him. He deserved it for trying to make her feel guilty for forgetting him. She may be a member of a race known for their kindness, but she was also a Took. She had some wit she used viciously at times. It came in handy when dealing with a certain cousin of hers, a certain Sackville-Baggins cousin. 

Gandalf smiled down at the little hobbit. He’d remembered the young hobbit lass who spent her days in the woods looking for elves and fantasizing about adventures, but Gandalf had feared that Miss Bella had embraced her Baggins side and forsaken her Took side entirely. Maybe, she hadn’t done either.

“Mistress Baggins, I am sure you are curious as to my visit this fine morning. So, I shall ‘cut to the chase’ as some say. I am looking for someone willing to share in an adventure.” Gandalf watched as the hobbit lass’s eyebrows shot up and disappeared under her bangs.

“Excuse me? You want what?” Bella was taken aback. Gandalf wanted someone to join an adventure! Ha! He had better keep going. He would not be finding a hobbit foolish enough to join an adventure. 

“You heard me correctly. I wish to find a party interested in joining in on an adventure. I take it you are interested? Great! I shall tell the others and you shall see them for supper tonight!” Gandalf peered down at Bella eyes still infuriatingly full of mirth, even as Bella leapt from her seat and stomped her feet.

“Mister Gandalf! I assure you I am not interested in an adventure! I am a respectable hobbit and I enjoy my simple life! I will not part with it for much of anything. Good day!” With that, Bella stomped back to her door and slammed it behind her. However, Bella was sure that smug smirk was still firmly in place upon that wizard’s face. Ugh!

Bella slumped against her door, praying to the Valar that the wizard would go away and never return, unless of course with some of those stellar fireworks. In fact, a crate or two of those might just be enough for her to forgive him his preposterous request. Hobbits do not do adventures! What was that man thinking? Really?!

Just as Bella was beginning to relax, she heard a scratching at her door, right behind her. Jumping to her feet, Bella slunk to the window to get a peak at whatever was messing up the perfectly new two-week-old coat of paint on her lovely round door. Ooo! Whoever it was was going to have hell to pay for damaging her door! There! It was that wizard! He was doing something to her door!

Bella waited for him to leave before opening her door to inspect the damage. (No matter how angry she was, Bella knew better than to cross a wizard too much.) And there it was; a mark at the base of her door. It appeared to be a type of rune. 

Bella just stared at the little rune for a few moments, unsure what to do. Should she repair the damage? That would take hours of sanding the wood to remove the mark and painting over the area at least two probably three coats of paint. That would just take too much effort for something that wasn’t even her doing! That wizard was so going to pay!

Wait! That was it! Make the wizard repair the door! But how? He had left. Would he be coming back? Maybe not, but he did say he would ‘tell the others,’ whatever that meant, and that these ‘others’ would be arriving for supper tonight. That meddling old kook! But, that was the door to the path of her retribution. If Gandalf was not in attendance tonight, which she highly suspected he would be because the man was so meddlesome he wouldn’t be able to keep away, she would force one of these ‘others’ to repair her lovely green door. 

Bella smirked to herself, and slunk off, regardless of being alone in her own home, to plot her revenge.


	2. Guess Who's Coming For Dinner?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella is ready. The dwarves are rude. Gandalf's there too. And everyone has some explaining to do.

Belladonna Baggins was ready. The time was drawing nigh, and Bella was prepared. She had spent all day scurrying around her hobbit hole, gathering things, rearranging furniture, and generally turning her entire home into an elaborate trap, a trap large enough for twenty grown men, not that she’d seen very many men before, but she has read many books. She had the mischievousness of a Took and the vindictiveness of a Baggins. Sure, the Bagginses were generally genial folk, but cross one of them and there would be a mighty price to pay, by Yavanna. Gandalf would learn never to mess with Belladonna Baggins. Ever again.

Bella had just finished the final touches of her master plan when there was a heavy-handed knock on her door. Grinning to herself, Bella waltzed to the door and yanked it open, just as the intruder was about to knock again. Instead, the knocker was left standing awkwardly with his hand half raised. Or at least, it would have been awkward if it had been anyone else, but as it was, the intruder at her door was a dwarf, a dwarf with a scowl upon his face.

“Hello. I am Dwalin, at your service.” The dwarf bowed before trying to brush past Bella into her home. However, Bella would have none of it. She stepped up to him, hand on the door, dragging it with her, to block the dwarf.

“Why hello there, I am Belladonna Baggins. I suppose that delightful wizard told you I would be hosting tonight’s festivities, did he?” Bella smiled innocently up at the dwarf, adding all her charm. She would need all the charm she had to make this work. She would catch these companions of Gandalf and make them _all_ pay if she had too.

“Yes,” the dwarf answered gruffly. “Now, if you would let me in, I would like to eat. Have the others arrived?”

Bella slipped out of the burly dwarf’s way and waved him inside. She wanted him inside quickly so as to not alarm her neighbors, but she had also had to maintain a sense of control in her own home.

“Please, come in. Might I ask the number of your companions? Gandalf neglected to inform me of that, bless him. He must be ageing none too well.” Bella walked in front of the dwarf, leading him to the kitchen. “Here is the kitchen, where you can sit while we await your companions.” Bella then turned to look the brusque dwarf in the eyes.

“Uh, yes. There should be fourteen of us, thirteen dwarves and the wizard, Gandalf.” Dwalin looked down at the hobbit lass and he thought he just caught a smug twitch of the mouth before her expression changed back to the friendly, cheerful expression it was since he saw her first at her door.

“Well, master dwarf, I suppose I shall have to pare down a few things. I was expecting quite a few more. Gandalf is horribly unpredictable. You just sit right here while I work. Enjoy this plate of biscuits as a early bird gets the worm treat, seeing as you are the first to arrive.” Bella sat the dwarf down at her kitchen table and made sure he wouldn’t move a muscle while she reevaluated her trap, now that she only needed fourteen seats versus twenty. Luckily for her, she had rigged it so removing place settings would be easy.

Turning once more to make sure Dwalin stayed where she put him and was focused on the biscuits, she had plopped in front of him, Bella ducked away into the dining room. Bella set to work, removing six of the chairs and place settings. All it took was removing the six chairs from the far end and removing that section of the table. The table was built to be able to have sections removed without much fuss and not give away the missing pieces, kind of like leaves but sneakier. It had been a gift from her father to her mother when Bella was born. Then, Bella just had to clip the wire that ran between all the chairs and shorten it to match the new length of the table.

Just as Bella finished returning her chairs to the various comfortable sitting lounges and bedrooms she had relocated them from for the occasion, the door bell rung. Bella bounded to the door, passing Dwalin in the kitchen who looked up at the figure darting past him.

Bella was greeted by a shorter dwarf than Dwalin with an almost kindly demeanor about him.

“Good evening, mistress. Balin, at your service.” The dwarf – Balin apparently – bowed low to Bella. “I see my brother, Dwalin, has arrived, do you know when the others will? We have much to discuss with your husband. This is a no easy venture, for sure. But, forgive me, I am getting ahead of myself. Might I know your name?”

Bella raised an eyebrow at this. _Husband?_ Bella had no husband. Did Gandalf tell the dwarves that her fictitious husband would be the one joining their adventure, or whatever it was? Not that Bella would actually _be_ joining the dwarves and Gandalf, not while she had a debt to settle, anyway.

“My name is Bella Baggins. You may come in and hang up your hat just here. Mister Dwalin is in the kitchen and I do not know when the rest of your party will arrive. I will show you to the kitchen where you may wait until they do arrive.” Bella smiled sweetly at the dwarf as she let him in and led him to the kitchen.

Once to the kitchen, it was rather obvious if it wasn’t before that these two dwarves knew and liked each other, because the marched over to each other and preceded to head butt each other. Of course, to Bella, or any hobbit really, this was rather appalling manners, but to a dwarf this was a friendly “hello.”

“Well, I’m glad you two get along well –“ but, before Bella could get any further, her door bell rang. Again. “Pardon me,” and Bella swished out of the room.

“Hello,” Bella said, ripping open her door with the most cheerful, innocent smile on her face. “I am Belladonna Baggins and I am your host for tonight. Welcome to my home! Please come in and take off your cloaks and shoes, leaving them by the door. Track no dirt in my house!” Bella shot the two dwarves at her door a glare when she spoke her warning. The boys had some impressive dirt and mud caked on his shoes.

“I am Fili-“

“And I am Kili-“

“At your service.”

The two dwarves, obviously younger than the previous two to arrive, bowed together, making sweeping gestures with their right arms in front of their torsos. Bella found the two amusing.

“I assume the two of you are at the very least close cousins, but more likely brothers?” Bella smiled good naturedly at the boys.

“We are,” answered the one Bella believed was Fili. “I am a few years older than my younger brother, Kili, and as such, I am much wiser-“

Here, Fili’s jab at his brother was cut off when Kili whacked him in the arm and protested, “Hey! That is so not true! …. Well, it might be, but you still get in just as much trouble with Uncle as I do.”

“True.”

Fili and Kili then looked back at their host who was waiting patiently for them to finish their quarrelling. “Have the others arrived yet?”

“Please, come in, two of your company have already arrived and are waiting in the kitchen. You may join them once you have removed your boots and whatever else you wish not to wear in my house.” Bella beckoned Fili and Kili inside.

“Great! You might want to place these somewhere safe, they are quite sharp.” Fili and Kili preceded to dump their swords and other assorted weapons in her arms after tromping into her house, without taking off their shoes mind you.

_Oooo!_ They completely ignored Bella’s request to take their shoes off and instead Kili was wiping his muddy shoe on her mother’s glory box! The idea! Now, the dwarves were in for more than just being companions of Gandalf the meddlesome wizard. They had their own offenses to atone for. First Dwalin treated her without respect and tried to push past her into her own home. Then Balin thought she had a husband who would be joining the dwarves, as if female hobbits were somehow weaker than male hobbits! The indignity! And to top it all, Fili and Kili expected her, a female, to clean up after them! Ha! They would be cleaning up after themselves. They were no longer guilty only by association and Bella would have absolutely no remorse making them pay. Mark that hobbit lass’s words. By Yavanna, they would scrub the mud from all her wood floors _and_ Kili would be paying _special_ attention to her mother’s glory box.

Instead of blowing up now, as there were nine more dwarves and a wizard yet to arrive, Bella just gave her arms a jerk and discarded the weapons the brothers had dumped on her onto the floor, glaring at the boys’ backs as they headed in the direction of their kinsmen’s voices.

As Bella was about to follow, her bell rung, again. Silently stewing, Bella plastered on her trademark fake smile and opened the door just to have eight dwarves spill inside her house. They must have been piled up against the door! There! Behind the dwarf pile was the center of Bella’s rage. Gandalf the bloody Grey.

Ignoring the dwarves clambering over each other and themselves to stand, Bella leveled her gaze at Gandalf, “Ah, Gandalf. How nice of you to drop by. Welcome to my humble abode, where I am sure you shall find all that you deserve.” Bella smile coyly at him, trying to hide the vindictiveness she felt.

Gandalf seemed surprised by her seeming acceptance of the eight dwarves, who were now standing, almost breaking down her door. “Mistress Baggins, I see you are more amenable to our earlier topic of discussion.” He raised a single eyebrow at her in question.

“So, you see.” Bella was not willing to give the wizard an inch.

Bella turned her attention to the eight dwarves in front of her as they began to introduce themselves.

“I am Bofur and these are my two brothers Bombur and Bifur, at your service.” The first dwarf to speak, Bofur it would seem, gestured to two other dwarves standing to his left and the three bowed to Bella.

“Oin. And my brother, Gloin. At your service.” Oin and his brother, Gloin, bowed.

“Mistress, I am Dori, and these are my two brothers Nori and Ori, at your service.” This dwarf was very formal with his neat, braided beard and tidy clothes. Of all the dwarves so far, Bella liked him the best.

“I am Belladonna Baggins, at your service. Please come in, it is a right pleasure to have you all here.” Bella curtseyed to the dwarves, then gestured for them to come in. “I believe we are missing one of your company. When might this fourteenth member arrive?” Bella looked inquiringly at the dwarves before resting her gaze on Gandalf, who honestly did seem to be the one in charge, bless the fortunes of these hapless dwarves.

Gandalf, no surprise there, answered. “I know not when the leader of our company shall arrive. He can be terrible with directions. I believe we may have to eat without Master Oakenshield.”

“Oh no! That will not do! We cannot eat until all the company is here.” Bella could see the dwarves were about to object at being refused food for the moment. “House rules. No exceptions.”

The dwarves shifted back at the authority in Bella’s tone. Evidently, they possessed at least some manners.

“However, in the meantime, you may rest in the front living room or help finalize dinner.” Bella smiled disarmingly at the eight dwarves. “Misters Dwalin, Balin, Fili, and Kili are already in the kitchen but I’m sure most of them would be happy to join you in the sitting room just here.”

Bella waved her arm to the left and showed the dwarves into her largest sitting room which also had a rather large window that faced out onto the Shire. It was Bella’s favourite window.

The dwarves all filed in except Dori and Bombur, who paused to speak with Bella. “Mistress Baggins, might we help you with the food? I do not know as much about food as Bombur here does and as I’m sure you do, but I know a fair amount about teas.”

“Yes, as cook for this quest, I know quite a bit about food. I would be honored to be of service. I know feeding fourteen dwarves is no easy feat, especially for a woman as yourself.”

Oooo. Just when Bella had thought she might like Dori, or even the rest of the dwarves, they just had to go making comments. But Bella would keep her cool and she _would_ deal with them later.

“Right this way gentlemen. The kitchen is just on the other side of the hallway.” Bella waltzed off, headed for the kitchen. When she arrived in the kitchen, Bella was greeted with the sight of Fili and Kili scarfing down her favourite biscuits. “Oi! What do you two think you are doing?!”

Kili and Fili jerked around to see all of Bella’s two and a half feet glowering at them from the doorway. “Uhh… Sorry. We were hungry and you weren’t here.”

“So you decided to eat my food?!” These dwarves certainly weren’t ingratiating themselves with her. Not one bit. But, Bella took a deep breath in and blew a deep breath out. “You know what? Out. Misters Fili, Kili, Dwalin, Balin, Bombur, Dori, all of you. Out. Go to the sitting room and stay there. I have dinner under control, and it will be ready when your companion arrives and not a second before.” Bella glared at the four dwarves in her kitchen, pointed to the door, and then turned to glare at the two dwarves flanking her. The dwarves looked stunned, but luckily for them did as she said and trudged across her hall and into the sitting room, tracking dirt as they went of course.

Bella huffed and turned to her kitchen. It was a mess. She thought about cleaning it up, but then decided it would serve as punishment for those nasty dwarves. Really, what were fourteen dwarves and a wizard going to do in her house? Bella set to work, mixing, baking, and serving. After an hour had passed, blessedly without interference from those dwarves, Bella had finished dinner and had it served on the table. And just in time too, because her doorbell rang, once again.

Bella glided to her door and pulled it open to see an admittedly very handsome dwarf, though the attractiveness was greatly marred by the scowl he was sporting.

“Is the rest of the company here?” And there went any good opinions Bella might have been forming of the dwarf.

“Why yes they are. They have been in my living room for upwards of an hour waiting on you so they could eat dinner. They were mighty upset to have been kept waiting.” There. See how he took veiled insults.

“I am here now. Let us eat. I am hungry as well.” Evidently, they went right over his head.

By some divine providence, Bella was able to keep the scowl off her face. “Oh, deary me, I fear I have been lax in my manners. My name is Bella Baggins of Bag End. Might I know your name?”

The dwarf was obviously perturbed at not being allowed in yet. “I am Thorin Oakenshield.”

“Well, it is certainly nice to meet you Thorin Oakenshield. Right this way.” Bella let the dwarf in and closed (and surreptitiously, not that the lug would have noticed, locked) her door. The dwarf – Thorin – just stood there and while to the trained eye of someone who knew him well his nervousness would be apparent, to Bella he gave off an air of haughty arrogance, as if he thought he owned the place. Bella tried to hold in her ire. Just a little longer she told herself.

Bella walked around and past Thorin, well around. She had no intentions of getting anywhere near him. Bella stuck her head into the parlor. “Your esteemed leader is here, and dinner has been served. If you will follow me.” And Bella, turned on her heel to head for the dining room when she bumped into Thorin. For how heavy his boots looked, she hadn’t even heard him move. “Oof, my apologies Master Dwarf, I wasn’t aware you were in my personal space.” Bella couldn’t help the subtle jab, but it again went right over Thorin’s head. Strange, considering Bella’s height difference with the irksome dwarf.

“Oh yay! Dinner!” Fili and Kili jumped up and ran for the doorway. “Which way? Which way?”

Bella sighed, inwardly. She would deserve an award for self-control by the end of the night. “Right over here.” Bella led the way to the dining room and just barely made it out of the way as thirteen dwarves and one wizard bowled into the room headed straight for the food. However, Bella was ready.

As soon as the dwarves were seated (and horrors, they hadn’t waited to even be seated before grabbing food), Bella sprung her trap. She yanked the rope she had been holding and bam! Thirteen dwarves and a wizard were trussed up in their chairs. Bella sprang forward before any of the miscreants could react and snatched Gandalf’s staff. Old man! Ha! That wasn’t a walking staff and Bella had the good sense to know it, unlike a certain guard would not, many years later.

Unfortunately, Bella hadn’t been able to disarm most of the dwarves, as even though they had left their larger weapons by the door, dwarves always had hidden knives and such. Fortunately, however, Bella had engineered her trap in such a way that the dwarves had no hope of reaching their hidden weapons. So, after securing the wizard’s staff. Bella flitted around the table, patting down the dwarves and found every last one of their weapons, much to their chagrin. Once she was done, Bella settled herself at the head of the table. She had set into her trap a way to move the head chair out of the way, because of course that pompous ass had seated himself right where Bella had the right to be.

“Now that I have your attention. Let’s talk. And by ‘let’s talk’ I mean I’m going to talk and you lot are going to listen. Not that you have much choice in the matter.” Bella smiled sweetly. The dwarves could only grumble, because did I mention? Bella had gagged them too.

Bella looked around the table, at each of the dwarves and settled her gaze at last on the wizard. “I’ll get to you last.” Bella bit it out with such anger that Gandalf had the good sense to look away.

“Now, at the start of this day I would have thought that most anyone would have had the manners and well breeding first to not even do what you lot did tonight but to at the very least know what they did was illmannered and disrespectful. However, it seems I was wrong and that you lot of ingrates have less manners than my dogs. Dwalin, you tried to push past me into my own house like you owned it instead of myself. I shouldn’t have to tell you that was very rude. Balin. I do not have a husband, nor do I want a husband. And I certainly don’t want a husband if all males act as you ugly lot have tonight. I am a grown hobbitess, I own this Hobbit hole, and I can handle my own affairs without a male to tell me what to do. Am I clear?” Bella obviously wasn’t going to get a response from Balin, but he did nod his head a little.

“Fili and Kili. I am not your weapons’ rack. You can take care of your crap yourself. And Kili, I didn’t appreciate you knocking the mud off your boots by scraping them on my mother’s glory box. And you lot who showed up here altogether! My door. Did you have to beat a dint into it? I just finished repainting it last week!” The dwarves only looked mildly ashamed. And Bella was only getting warmed up.

“I was thinking of skipping over you, Thorin Oakenshield.” Bella spit the name with as much anger and vitriol as she could muster. “You didn’t even introduce yourself. You just walked in like you owned the place, demanding to know whether your group of miscreants here had arrived yet and when food would be served. I’d hate to know what else you think with, because it certainly isn’t your head.

“And you. Gandalf the blithering Grey! You showed up at my house this morning spouting some nonsense about an adventure and then returned with thirteen dwarves in tow. Thirteen! Dwarves you invited into my house without my consent!

“Now, I’m going to give one of you, and just one, a chance to explain why you lot are here and what it has to do with me and why I shouldn’t call the Thain right now and have you wretched lot thrown into the Brandywine with your hands tied. So, choose carefully which it will be.” Chest heaving, Bella settled back into her chair, crossed her arms, and glared at all of them.

////////////

Bella sniffed. It had been a few moments since she had told off the dwarves plus Gandalf. A few moments of dead silence, aside from some fidgeting. The dwarves were obviously uncomfortable; it’s not every day that you and yours are captured and bound to a bunch of chairs around a table laden with food by a young lady, a whole foot shorter than you.

Bella was getting tired of waiting. At one point, Gandalf looked as if he was going to explain, but Bella sent him a quelling look and he settled back to watch. Thorin looked like someone had stomped on his cat, though Bella doubted he could even care for a creature like a cat. The rest of the dwarves wore expressions of varying degrees of shock to slight amusement (the mischief makers) to longing for the food, just out of reach. Finally, Balin seemed to gather himself.

“Mistress Baggins…” Balin trailed off, looking at Bella.

Bella just glared, but expectantly.

“Yes, Mistress Baggins.” Balin somehow managed to appear diplomatic, despite the pitying circumstances. “I am, of course, Balin, son of Fundin. These are my companions: Dwalin, my brother, Ori, Dori, Nori, Bofur, Bifur, Bombur, Fili and Kili, Oin, Gloin, and our leader, Thorin Oakenshield. Our purpose is to reclaim our home, Erebor, far to the east, from the dragon, Smaug, who took it many years ago. We thirteen dwarves are all that have volunteered for this quest. Gandalf has agreed to assist us. Part of that assistance included finding a fourteenth member for our party, a non-dwarf so as to confuse Smaug and hopefully give us the advantage. This fourteenth member would hold the position of Burglar. We gathered here tonight, because Gandalf has informed us, he has located the fourteenth member.” Balin paused here and looked pointed at Bella.

_What._

“Am I to assume you mean me to be the fourteenth member on this dangerous, madcap of a quest?” Bella tried to keep the incredulity from her tone. No matter how angry she was, she recognized the levity of the dwarves’ plight. Bella had only ever read of dragons, but she knew they were dangerous and cunning and that it was a blind chance in hell that the dwarves would succeed.

Balin nodded his head. “I must ask your forgiveness. I incorrectly assumed that Gandalf had located a male for the fourteenth member and that male would be your husband.” Balin bowed his head to Bella, a gesture Bella instinctually knew to be one of humbling.

Bella didn’t soften her expression, but she nodded to the dwarf. “Your apology is recognized.”

“Thank you, Mistress Baggins.” Balin bowed his head once again to Bella.

Bella took the thread of the conversation, “so, first, am I supposed to be the fourteenth member? And, not saying I’m agreeing or anything, do any of you have a problem with me being female?” Bella was going to make very clear her gender would not cause problems.

Balin spoke up again. Seemingly by unanimous, unspoken agreement, the dwarves had handed Balin the sole role of speaking. “Yes, you are the chosen fourteenth member, and we do not oppose your gender.”

Bella nodded her head. “And, more importantly, why would I agree to leave the comfort of my home to trapeze across the countryside, hurtling through untold dangers, just to reach an even greater threat, with fourteen males who have insulted me in almost every way possible for what exactly? Nothing you could offer me would in any way persuade me. I have enough money to live comfortably. I have no desire for more money. There is no telling just how long I would be gone, and I cannot leave my hobbit hole unattended for very long. If Lobelia gets even a whiff that I’m out of town, I can kiss my silverware goodbye. The conniving witch.” Bella murmured the last bit to just herself. “And, though you haven’t said, I’m fairly certain you can’t guarantee that I even will return, can you?” Bella, though she was looking around the room, directed her gaze and her question to Gandalf.

“No, I’m afraid not, dear. I cannot give you the guarantee you desire, but I suspect that if you do go, you will get more out of it than you may think.” There was that damnable twinkle in his eye that Bella was quickly learning spelled nothing but trouble.

Bella narrowed her eyes. “You still haven’t answered my question. Why in Yavanna’s name should I go? You’ve already given me more than enough reason not to go.”

Balin coughed, but Gandalf answered first. “My dear, I cannot give you a definitive reason. The only thing I can say is you will benefit more than you know from this journey.”

Before Bella could tamp down on her frustration enough to answer, Balin spoke up, “I know you said you were not interested in money, but there will also be a substantial reward. As the fourteenth member of the company, you would receive a fourteenth of the treasure reclaimed from the mountain.”

“I told you, I don’t need or want money.”

Bella frowned. She considered. She sized up each of the dwarves and Gandalf in turn. Bella was warring with herself. The Baggins in Bella told her to stay comfortably at home, after she turned the dwarves and Gandalf out on the stoop. In the middle of the night. Without food. Yet, the Took in her was urging her to go with the dwarves, to see just what it would be like. Bella had to fight from outright grumbling, but she finally made her decision. She would show these dwarves just what a Baggins and a Took was capable of. Plus, she had a score to settle with these dwarves and what better way than to travel with them? She would have unfettered access to them, and they couldn’t do anything to stop her because they needed her.

“Okay. I will go, we will not leave tomorrow. It is too late to be prepared to leave in the morning. We will leave in two mornings. And – “ Bella raised her voice because the dwarves looked about to object – “in the interim, you lot will make yourselves useful. You have made my home a mess and I will not leave it in such disrepair for an undetermined period of time.” Bella settled an authoritative glare on each of the dwarves until she was satisfied. They would obey. “Now, I assume you are hungry, and I am not so cruel as to deny you that. Eat while I settle sleeping arrangements for thirteen dwarves and a wizard.”

Bella yanked the cord she still held and walked out of the room, smiling to the comforting sound of thirteen dwarves and an irksome wizard being upended on the floor.

As she walked down the hallway, Bella quashed the reason the small Baggins part of her _was_ urging her to go. She didn’t like the dwarves enough to admit it. Yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I combined this chapter and what was the third chapter and made the original first chapter the prologue for length reasons. I'm only sort of sure I know what I'm doing here. Also I'm fully aware I haven't added to this fic since like april or something... but hey - what can you do? 2nd chapter coming soon hopefully


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